Magic moments....on the 'phone..................or why
" technician Bruce gets Surly..."©
11. I've used that DF25 for a year and a bit. Should I recharge it yet?
10. ..but the boat was only
submerged overnight..
9. So me drilling a hole in the battery ain't covered by
the warranty ? ..
8. The fire? Oh, I got tired of the fuse blowing and
jammed in a nail instead....
7. Well, I did the hook the battery backwards at first,
but only for a few minutes.
6. I wound up the regulator to 17v for a really fast
charge....
5. The batteries were way low so I plugged the charger
into the inverter.....
4. I heard that dry batteries are maintenance free, so I
emptied the water out.
3. Breaker panel? Naw,
I managed to jam all fourteen
connectors onto the battery posts...
2. I
figured I'd just plug it in to the 230 outlet and worry about the input selector
switch later..
1. You mean I can't change the
Alternator belt without
stopping the engine?
technical bruce - insights and descriptors.
RFS - Ready for smelting - any battery long past any useful electrochemical function; (cf; Dead.)
UnderKilled - a chronically undersized system - Not enough plate material for the task at hand - 2 x 4D's running all the bells and whistles of a 40 sailboat and its 3000 watt Inverter spring to mind. (See hopeFull)
FC - FrankenCharger or power supply posing as a regulated battery charge device which cooks the batteries in a somewhat pitiless, unregulated manner. ("But we liked the name!")
FS. - frankenSystem - a cobbled together battery system of unpredictable, usually deadly character.
Nuked and Cooked - death by FrankenCharging.
Popped - Positive plate growth pushing the post up /or distorting the case walls outwards - a subset of frankenCharging and usually aggravated by poor thermal ventilation.
Bad Egg Smell - Often remarked on by stunned survivors; That combination of age, poor design or frankenCharging happily venting copious hydrogen sulphide and acid mist in your vessel;
Woops - A spark usually from a loose or broken wire/battery post connector. (aka. Noisy redecorating.)
Noisy Redecoration - when a small woops ignites a big Bad Egg Smell - aka; Explosion.
Good and Balanced - (Mythical) a properly sized and cabled battery bank with balanced load to charge ratio - a normal marine battery system. Oh,.!.. and they paid retail.
truly nasty and really Evil - the polar opposite of a good and balanced battery
system.
three step gas - Deadly chlorine gas - the result of battery acid mixing with sea-water
fresh off Noahs Arc - a battery or alternator of untold vintage / years.
Wrongful Righteous - an outraged Emptor who listened not to Technical Caveats aplenty.
( aka; 'selective hearing syndrome')
'Works perfectly!' - Hmm...Not in any battery Technical Manual we are familiar with.
You are welcome to link to this page but it is
copyright. Don't make The Bruce's Surly!
Yep. There are 3 of them.
The Loud. The
Quiet and The Furry._aka
The Good.
The Bad,
and the Cuddly.
(sigh) Pray for me would you?
